Jouberton – South Africa is battling with high rates of Gender Based Violence, Rape and Femicide, in the last few years an insurgence of young women have died brutally, at the hands of their partners, husbands, ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands.
There had been fears of a rise in GBV, at the beginning stages of the lockdown levels, as many women would spend most of the time locked behind closed doors with their perpetrators, strangely incidents of violence and mortality happen at the time there is easing on lockdown regulations and the ban on alcohol is lifted.
Despite campaigns by government and women rights movements against the scourge of GBV, numbers of abused women seem to rise by day, and in a period where the world is in grips with the novel coronavirus pandemic one would think things would be better.
Unfornately the country is facing yet another scourge of femicide, and Gender Based Violence, South Africa has been outraged by the deaths of Naledi Phangindawo, Tshegofatso Pule, and many others who have died since the lockdown.
Many people have taken to social media to voice their thoughts about what is happening currently in the country, and for a young Jouberton woman the news headlines of GBV have been too much to bear for her.
On Tuesday night 16 June 2020 “Dineo Conny Moris” finally broke out, after being silent on her GBV incident, the young woman shared her story on facebook, after going through an experience she describes as being painful, traumatic, and emotionally scaring.
On a faithful night of 30 December 2018, she recalls the boyfriend waking her up in the middle of the night with slaps, kicked and shoved for no apparent reason, Dineo says she had to apologize for having done absolutely nothing.
Two days prior to this incident, on 27 December 2018, they had an altercation with Alleged abuser that she says led to a few slaps, but reconciled later on.
This was followed by a terrible experience on 30 December 2018, recalling the night she said…”He kept on hitting me and after he forcefully had sex with me, on top of that he said my vagina was dry and I don’t want to have sex with him; he hit me again and laid on the bed and said I should perform oral sex on him“.
“Whilst in tears crying and he reprimanded me from making noise, I did what he asked, and then he demanded anal sex after telling me I was dry“
She tried to fight back but he kept on hitting her and luckily he gave up after not succeeding the anal sex, and “he again forcefully had sex with me while I was still crying and he stopped and said I should keep quiet because he’s my man and he can do whatever he likes to me”.
After only a month of dating, the man who is also from Jouberton was already showing his abusive behavior, something that Dineo suspects his used to doing and which is…physically abusing women and getting away with it in the name of love.
At one point when the boyfriend was hitting her, she says she asked him “Why not kill her, to cut a long story short“, because she was unable to fight back, he subsequently put her clothes in cold water to prevent her from leaving.
The following day, after the incident, she went to the toilet under the watch of the boyfriend who didn’t want to leave, fortunately! The the boyfriend’s younger brother was standing outside, she borrowed a mirror from him so that she can look at her bruised face.
Then she threatened the boyfriend, “I told him I don’t want to go back to the room and I was going to scream so that people can come to my rescue“.
Shaken and traumatized by all this, she didn’t tell anyone because the boyfriend had put on a fake character and convinced her family that he loved her unconditionally…in order to make it hard for her loved ones to believe she was telling the truth about the abuse.
She wanted to open a case against her perpetrator who begged her not to, she opted to walk away from him, days following the alleged abuse, the boyfriend apologized continuously but she refused to see him.
To push him away, the young woman threatened him by saying she has taken pictures of her bruises and unless he stops calling her, she would press charges and use the pictures as evidence to the police, that is when he stepped back.
“The 22 year old Dineo says she’s become a better and after speaking about her ordeal”, before that she used to have flashbacks, and frequently had what she calls anniversaries “as she would lock herself up in the bedroom on the 30th of each month…and breakdown!
Speaking about her experience has had a positive impact on her and says she doesn’t fear being judged, she encourages other women to speak out about GBV.
“Dineo has a friend who is currently in an abusive relationship and this is one of the reasons she decided to speak out in order to convince the friend who believes her boyfriend will change, to walk away from the abusive relationship and that she’s not the only one”.